Mutating & Mindfulness

This whole C4Q project would be simpler if being in a bootcamp was just about buckling down and grinding out work and other things we associate with (masculine) toughness. But I don’t think it’s that one-sided. We’re also here to learn what we may need to take on to go on and what we can let fall away or release for a season or two. Taking on an intense form of education like a dev bootcamp can be about softening yourself without also losing yourself, your critical thought, and your engagement with the world.

Optional Binding & (Really) Networking

They're very vulnerable places, beginnings, as you open yourself up to changing how you see the world. I had my first dream about coding two nights ago. Last night, I had another one. It was strange, but a little wonderful, too. It was also a sign of how profoundly the mind and body take in your environment—which can be good and bad, as no environment is perfect.

Control Flow & Networking

So many of the women in this cohort are about a decade younger than myself, and I feel we—as older women who have been through this sort of thing before or who have friends who have seen it all and worse—owe it to them to make sure the tech community has space for bright young women, who can be both on the cusp of greatness and also at their most vulnerable in a largely older, largely male community.

Reformat & Iterate

Today when we broke into pods I determined my goal for the next week (which would matter because I was 97% sure I'd just flamed out on our first bi-weekly assessment) would be to write a code snippet of my own for each new lesson using the concept we'd learned in that lesson—similar to what I did here. I was surprised when after telling the teacher my plan he advised me against it, instead recommending I go back and review old exercises and look at previous bits of code that I knew worked. My brain resisted this probably well-tested advice at first. I wanted to make new stuff, not review things!

Characters & Storytelling

  • Doubted myself out of a compliment.

  • Caught reading. "Go to college!" Had.

  • Ink drops. Tear drops. Rose up.

  • Advice: "Don't come back!" Never will.

  • Sickness. Recovery. Covering new ground, finally.

  • Playing at nerd to working nerd.

These are six of my six-word stories I wrote during our Storytelling Workshop with Bharat Ayyar. They are all about me and all authentic.

Break & Continue

But the reason that I said it was important for me to sit with the feeling of failure was because it was just a feeling. And feelings pass, and are NOT facts.

I may have gotten lower on the assessment than I would've liked, but that doesn't mean I didn't gain valuable insight and experience from it. And just because I felt I failed, that does not make me a failure. That's an important distinction for me to focus on, because failures give up, but people who fail can persevere, grow, and learn.

fallthrough & overflow

The classroom, to me, feels like a space where we succeed and struggle together. I hope everyone feels that way. All of this goes a long way to making it easier to tackle heavy subjects like the intricacies of bytes and floating numbers, which I'm still working on. But I know my peers and the faculty have my back. I hope I can continue to give them back everything that they've given to me and more.

where clauses & value binding

  • C4Q tutor: Uh uh, no.
  • Me: [starting a new exercise, scrolling back to look at previous answers] 😳
  • C4Qt: Don't do that. Don't scroll back to look at previous exercises for syntax clues.
  • Me: 😓 Bad habit?
  • C4Qt: Well, you won't always have exercises to look back to.
  • Me: 🙇

Little moments like that make office hours immensely valuable.

Insomnia & String Interpolation

One of the things Turnbull did mention in his speech was believing that we were entitled to the information we are being given. Another part of that formula seems to be believing that the information we're being given is worth half a hundred thousand dollars or more. I'm still learning how to believe that. [...]
I've always had trouble separating my worth from my job. I guess that doesn't get easier just because you might start being paid much, much more. If you're taught that it's of the upmost importance to do your best work every day for its own sake, no matter your compensation, then how do you know what you're really worth?

Constant Variables & Humbling Founders

While it's intimidating to read about all the people and the work that goes into making C4Q and Access Code a success, it also makes me realize what an honor it is that these people think I'm worth teaching and that they have my back as I take on this learning challenge. It means a lot.

Maybe I belong here.

Hello, World.

My hope for this blog is that it will document not only my journey from illustrator to software developer, but a shift from imagining a world with space for me in it to claiming space for myself in the world.