viewDidLoad & scope
I’m at C4Q headquarters and XCode 8 is downloading. It’s been bouncing between 4 minutes and 7 minutes for approximately 10 minutes now.
Which means time to write.
The class has really leveled up this past week as we start building actual applications in XCode. The complexity of the task at hand—learning a language, a program, and learning to program—is coming into focus more and more. It can all be intimidating when I look up at the view from the base of this mountain between bouts of writing and troubleshooting code. I worry that the skills and methods I used to get here won’t be enough to sustain me moving forward. So I look to other student’s methods: writing out the code’s functions by hand and attending weekend programming or review groups. I drop in where I’m comfortable (on The Twitters) and find new Swift blogs to study. I try to find time to review concepts on my own. I write here. And I worry.
Our project manager, who writes and assigns the two daily quizzes, has been out for a week so… no quizzes! Just coding. When I made a comment about the quizzes returning next week when the PM got back, the teacher said that we’d soon be at the point where daily quizzes wouldn’t be able to cover the work we’re doing. I was surprised at how disappointed I was at that thought. I’d come to rely on them for valuable feedback on what I needed to work on and the occasional confirmation that I had learned something.
Worrying doesn’t help at all. I’m trying to keep coming back to a perspective that lets me feel safe enough to try new things and evaluate the effectiveness of the new things I try despite not being totally on top of everything we’re doing in class.
The willingness to stick to old methods that should work according to more experienced people (read: review code that works) even though it hasn’t had much of a chance to help me yet is important, too.
I have a problem with freezing up when faced with a complex problem that I’m trying to work through. My goal is to instead get excited to teach myself something new as I work through the problem. I can do this occasionally and when I do it feels great. I’d like it to be more consistent though, and I feel that will happen if I keep reinforcing that I don’t need to worry about being judged for failing. Connecting with the cohort helps me, as I relearn that everyone is focused mostly on themselves and while there’s some competition and awareness of where people are at, on the whole it’s not hard to find support and encouragement. Nobody’s rooting for anyone to fail—quite the opposite. Now I just need to learn to do the same for myself.